Slut Pop Miami is a disaster. Why?

February 16th, 2024

The massive 12-track EP more than fails to live up to its predecessor's glory.

The cover to Kim Petras' Slut Pop Miami. Featuring Kim in a revealing green bikini laying on her belly and seductively side-eyeing the camera.

Kim Petras is back and worse than ever with her queen-sized EP Slut Pop Miami. With 12 tracks and a runtime of just under 24 minutes, the EP is approaching double the length of the original Slut Pop. Unfortunately for us, however, it seems that Kim has traded in quality for quantity. While there's much more to chew on this time around, don't be surprised if Miami leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

Slut Pop Miami is part of an unfortunate trend of Kim's discography slowly growing worse as her career progresses. Her fall from glory is extremely disappointing. Era 1 blessed us with 11 pleasant pop singles, including a collaboration with the legendary SOPHIE, may she rest in power. Clarity, the album-turned-mixtape was an incredibly strong effort that paid off immensely, and her seemingly-ongoing Turn Off The Light series continues to churn out halloween bops.

However, ever since signing with Amigo and Republic records back in 2021, her output has been lackluster to say the least. Problematique failing to release on schedule was an unfortunate loss. Many of the leaks (and eventually the release of most of its tracklist) were fun and poppy, but it was still a noticeable step down from Clarity and Era 1. (Slut Pop in the middle of the Problematique mess was a welcome surprise, but more on her soon.) Sadly, Feed the Beast, while a solid try, was never going to live up to the hype of what her major-label debut was suppsoed to be.

What sets Miami apart from Slut Pop the First is the lack of wild energy. SP1 was conceived almost on a whim, recorded and released amidst the chaotic and crumbling release schedule of Problematique, even allegedly borrowing songs from its tracklist. It's a campy masterpiece. Its rushed nature gives it its charm. It may have been finished quickly, but it was created impulsively, out of a need to release something to tide over the hungry Bunheads. This is what Miami lacks. It exists in response to nothing, a sequel that only a vocal few asked for and nobody really needed.

Not to mention, everything about it reeks of laziness. Many fans criticized the original Slut Pop's short song lengths, with not a single song crossing the three-minute mark. Miami is almost worse. While we do finally have a singular three-minute song in the form of "Head Head Honcho", the majority of songs on the album are not even two minutes, let alone three. Every other song, without one exception, reads to me like an unfinished demo. The project as a whole feels like nothing more than a Dr. Luke DJ set with some Kim vocals lazily edited in. Oh yeah. The whole thing is produced by Dr. Luke again. As a friend of a friend of mine once said, "making sex-positive music with a rapist is such a choice." Excuse me, alleged rapist. Don't wanna get sued, now do I.

Slut Pop had verses! It had a bit of wordplay! It had lines that worked as shock value and haha funny sex music! ("Do a line on your dick as a pick-me-up", anyone?) Miami just feels like Kim saying words into a microphone. The song "Get Fucked" is essentially the same half-dozen lines on loop for two minutes, and most of the EP follows that same formula. "Head Head Honcho" is far and away the project's most fleshed-out song, although the bar for flesh-outedness is quite low. Ironic, given the nature of the project itself.

As a final note, I'll end on the few things about Slut Pop Miami that I actually like. For one, the promotional videos are PHENOMINAL! They're so campy and silly and fun! I just wish the whole EP could have lived up to that expectation. Also, fine, "Head Head Honcho" is a good song. I like it. It's really good. Might be one of the only really good one. Some of the others were okay. "Get Fucked", "Fuckin' This Fuckin' That", and "Can we Fuck?" come to mind. That's about it though.

If you like Kim Petras, and if you liked the original Slut Pop, then Slut Pop Miami is probably worth a listen. But if you walk away hating it, don't say I didn't warn you. I guess it's true, these bitches can't suck like Kim.